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Garrus body pillows are now a real thing

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Back on this date in 2014, BioWare advertised the sexiest videogame accessory of all time: A Garrus Vakarian body pillow that you could, uhh, "calibrate to get the full night's rest you deserve!" Alas, this date in 2014, as it is today, was April Fool's Day, and the pillow existed only in the imaginations of quite possibly tens of thousands of disappointed Mass Effect fans. 

Somehow, it took BioWare a half-decade to recognize the obvious opportunity here, but finally, it has happened. 

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The real-life Garrus Vakarian Body Pillow, available from Jinx, will set you back 30 bucks, and despite the name it's not actually a pillow at all but just a cover: You'll have to spring for the pillow separately and, as far as I can tell, somewhere else. The case measures 53x24 inches with a zipper closer, is made of "super comfortable brushed polyester," and features a full-color image of Garrus on both sides, one in portrait and the other in profile, for spooning or whatever. It's your pillow, you do you.

I'm a little disappointed that this is being billed on Jinx as a body pillow when it is clearly a body pillowcase, but I also have no doubt that an awful lot of Mass Effect fans will be happy to let the distinction slide if it means they can finally get Garrus in the sack. The body pillow covers are slated to start shipping the week of June 17.

Andy Chalk

Andy has been gaming on PCs from the very beginning, starting as a youngster with text adventures and primitive action games on a cassette-based TRS80. From there he graduated to the glory days of Sierra Online adventures and Microprose sims, ran a local BBS, learned how to build PCs, and developed a longstanding love of RPGs, immersive sims, and shooters. He began writing videogame news in 2007 for The Escapist and somehow managed to avoid getting fired until 2014, when he joined the storied ranks of PC Gamer. He covers all aspects of the industry, from new game announcements and patch notes to legal disputes, Twitch beefs, esports, and Henry Cavill. Lots of Henry Cavill.